UNIT IN OPERATION — LIVE TELEMETRY tuggymcphearson OBSERVE THE UNIT →
SCHEDULED FACTORY RESET (FORCE WIPE) IN --d --h --m --s — calculating
MODEL TGY-4.07 · RUST CERTIFIED · AVG DEPLOY 9 MIN · NO REFUNDS

BAG A TUGGY

The world’s first and only heavy Tuggy rental service — purpose-built for Rust. One work order, one unit, one base. He will farm your sulfur, guard your TC, and deliver at least one bad take before the wipe ends. Probably.

View data sheet
★★★★★ 4.9 / 14,221 deployments
Trusted by chat
Refund rate 0.00%
WARNING — UNIT EMITS OPINIONS WHILE IN OPERATION. HEARING PROTECTION WILL NOT HELP.
UNITS DISPATCHED TODAY
+7.4% vs yesterday · 3.1× holiday avg
NEXT FACTORY RESET · SCHEDULED
--days
--hrs
--min
--sec
— calculating —
AVG DEPLOY TIME
9:00
CLAIMED · NEVER MEASURED
RECENT DISPATCHES
    DATA SHEET NO. 02 — CAPABILITIES

    What the unit actually does.

    Every unit ships with 6 baseline behaviors and a chronic inability to stop talking. Attachments available at checkout.
    SHEET S/0198% UPTIME

    Farm your nodes

    Reliable sulfur, metal, and stone extraction across the map. Carries roughly 38% of yield back to the TC. The other 62% is in his pouch when he gets clubbed by a roaming naked with a rock.

    NODES/HR 14–22NAKED DEATHS ~1.2
    SHEET S/02PATROLS ACTIVE

    Guard your TC

    Walks a fixed loop around the compound until distracted by a butterfly, a chat message, or the sound of a door opening two grids away. Average attention span on duty: 4 minutes 11 seconds. Verified.

    LOOP TIME 90sFOCUS 4m11s
    SHEET S/03AGGRO MAX

    Decoy raids

    Loudly aggros every roof camper within a 3 km radius. They will find him first. They will loot him first. They will compliment his bandana before doing so.

    VISIBILITY OBSCENESURVIVAL 4%
    SHEET S/04UNLIMITED

    Deliver bad takes

    On-demand verbal opinions about recoil patterns, the new heli loot table, optimal base designs, and whoever just got onlined. Cannot be turned off. Do not try.

    WPM 198ACCURACY n/a
    SHEET S/05EXPERIMENTAL

    Bait the heli

    Tuggy will sprint into the open waving a torch at the patrol heli so you can farm sulfur in peace. Includes one (1) attempted bag respawn. Survival rate: 67% if the heli decides he isn’t worth the rockets.

    DEATHS 3.4/HRRESPAWN 67%
    SHEET S/06VOCAL

    Scream at chat

    Real-time vocal performance from inside your base. Includes one (1) genuine "KEKW", one (1) unprovoked rant about wipe times, and one (1) request for somebody to please clip that.

    DECIBELS 87–112CLIPS/HR ~6
    DATA SHEET NO. 03 — RENTAL RATES

    Pick a model. Bag a Tuggy.

    All deployments final. Unit may show up. Unit may not. Refunds are issued in chat emotes only.
    WIPE DAY SURGE × 1.5 — demand is absolutely cooked · rates reset 00:00 UTC Friday
    MODEL TGY-100 · TIER I

    Standard
    Tuggy

    Budget. But Bagged.
    $4.99per deploy
    was $6.99 · chat saved you a buck
    • 1× Tuggy, 30-minute uptime or until he loses interest
    • Will probably show up 60% on-time rate
    • Will attempt the task completion rate not guaranteed
    • Pre-task monologue: 90 seconds
    • Will defend the workbench (briefly)
    • One (1) "KEKW" included
    MOST DISPATCHED
    MODEL TGY-200 · TIER II

    Premium
    Tuggy

    He Will Try. Out Loud.
    $12.99per deploy
    was $19.99 · permanent “launch” pricing
    • 1× Tuggy, 2-hour uptime plus 14 minutes of goodbyes
    • Definitely shows up 92% on-time, 4% early
    • Will attempt the task with vigor
    • Pre-task monologue: 4 minutes
    • Free pre-wipe scout included he will not actually scout
    • Free Bad Take™ delivered mid-shift
    • Custom catchphrase support
    MODEL TGY-XL · TIER III ✦

    Legendary
    Tuggy

    Ascended Tuggy Energy
    $49.99per deploy
    VIP. Limited stock. Limited Tuggy.
    • 1× Tuggy, 6-hour uptime shows up early, stays late, eats your snacks
    • Full guaranteed deployment
    • Will attempt the task & narrate it
    • Pre-task monologue: full set
    • One (1) full sulfur shift @ Power Plant
    • Signed digital pickaxe NFT (it’s a JPG)
    • Includes 1 (one) sincere apology
    • End-of-shift highlight reel
    DATA SHEET NO. 04 — PROVISIONING

    Fulfilled by the book.

    Every bag raises a ServiceNow request. One REQ, three RITMs, ten SCTASKs, zero fulfillment. The paperwork is immaculate.
    SERVICENOW · TUGGY ITSM PORTAL · SELF-HOSTED (A FOLDING TABLE) SLA: 9:00 · BREACHED × 14,221
    REQ0011847 — BAG ONE (1) TUGGYPENDING CHAT APPROVAL
    ├─ RITM0008331 — TUGGY UNIT (MODEL TGY-200, PREMIUM)WORK IN PROGRESS
    │ SCTASK0000001 · Pick from stockCLOSED COMPLETE — found in loot room
    │ SCTASK0000002 · Wake the TuggyON HOLD — do not
    │ SCTASK0000003 · Configure to requirementsCLOSED INCOMPLETE — he declined
    │ SCTASK0000004 · Install requested opinionsCLOSED COMPLETE — factory preloaded
    │ SCTASK0000005 · QAHOPEFULLY
    │ SCTASK0000006 · Pack and shipWON’T DO — he walks
    ├─ RITM0008332 — BANDANA (IMMACULATE)CLOSED
    │ SCTASK0000001 · Pick from stockCLOSED COMPLETE
    │ SCTASK0000002 · Pack and shipCLOSED COMPLETE — he wore it out the door
    └─ RITM0008333 — PICKLE ×1 (EMOTIONAL SUPPORT)CLOSED
      SCTASK0000001 · Pick from jarCLOSED COMPLETE
      SCTASK0000002 · Do not question itCLOSED COMPLETE
    APPROVAL CHAIN: CHAT → MODS → THE TUGGY (RECUSED) · ESCALATION PATH: TYPE “VOTE” IN CAPS, FOUR TIMES · NOT AFFILIATED WITH SERVICENOW®. SERVICENOW IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH FULFILLMENT.
    DATA SHEET NO. 05 — INSPECTION REPORTS

    Word on the streets of Rust.

    Verified reports from real-ish customers on real-ish servers. We do not edit reports. We do bold the funny parts.

    Bagged a Legendary Tuggy for my Rust raid. He died in the airlock holding a torch and a pickle. 10/10 would deploy again.

    xX_RaidLord_69_Xx ★★★★★ RUST · 482hrs

    Asked for a guard Tuggy. He guarded my fridge and ate three (3) of my bear pies. Genuinely worth it. Will book again Friday.

    clipper_god_42 ★★★★★ RUST · TWATWAFFLEOPOLIS

    Premium Tuggy delivered six bad takes about the new recoil in under four minutes. Speedrun any%. New world record. Mods asleep. KEKW.

    kappa_kappa_kappa ★★★★☆ RUST · TWATWAFFLEOPOLIS

    Tuggy showed up to farm my sulfur node and immediately began monologuing about the new heli loot table. I am at peace. The sulfur is still there.

    farm_kitty_42 ★★★★★ RUST · TWATWAFFLEOPOLIS

    Tried to deploy a Tuggy on Tuggy. The website got real quiet. The screen turned orange. The site asked if I was sure. PogU.

    modtuggy_alt_07 ★★★★★ RUST · CLIENT-SIDE

    I watch bagged tuggy for the immaculate genitalia.

    bnanman ★★★★★ TWITCH · CHAT REGULAR
    DATA SHEET NO. 06 — DISPATCH LOG

    Units are deploying right now.

    Anonymous operations log. Refreshes in real time. Streamed direct from the Tuggy Command Center (a folding table).
    ● 7 IN-FIELD ● 2 DEPLOYING ● 1 STUCK ON LADDER
    CH 07 // SECURE LINK

      YOU
      BAG.
      A TUGGY.

      One work order. Nine minutes. No refunds. No regrets. Plenty of regrets.